Do you know the problem with judging others? Sometimes we’re not correct and our judgment of others often hurt them and sometimes ourselves. This idea of judging others is one of the themes I explored in my novel His Perfect Match.
Brianna McPherson had been subject so many times to the judgment of others that she no longer cared about pleasing people, at least on the outside.
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What Does Judging Others Mean?
The Oxford Dictionary defines the word judge as:
To form an opinion or conclusion about.
Isn’t this what we do every day, all day long?
We form an opinion about the outfit we choose for the day—does it flatter our figure? Does it set the right tone for the occasion? Does it match our mood?
Does that restaurant look like a good one? What did you think about the meal you just ate? Opinions and judgments happen so often, we rarely think about them.
The Truth About Judging Others
So, what is the problem with judging others? As I stated initially, it’s because we often get things wrong. We judge others based on what we see, hear, or think we know about them. The trouble is, we almost never have the full picture. We don’t know that someone walked three blocks to get where we are, so they’re sweaty and disheveled.
We heard about the time that person was mean to someone, but we didn’t hear about all the provocation that led to the response. Or the hundreds of people they were kind to on previous occasions. Or even what had happened to them that day which led to them being snappy.
Remember Brianna? Her physical appearance led to a lot of snap judgments. What people didn’t realize was that she dressed to mask her hurt. I know, I know. Why would someone deliberately dress in a way that invited people to have negative things to say?
Have you never been in a position where you tried everything you could think of to win someone’s favor? You went out of your way to do things you know would please them, but the harder you tried, the less they seemed to value you. Finally, you give up. You choose to do things that satisfy you because you accept that there’s nothing you can do to please the other person.
That was the position in which Brianna found herself. She decided if people were going to judge her anyway, she might as well do what she wanted to do.
What Does God Say About Judging Others?
Maybe that’s why God was so earnest about us not judging others. One of Jesus’ more famous talks about judging others is found in Matthew 7:1-5:
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” (ESV)
My friend, it’s hard for us to judge others properly because we often have things that hinder us from seeing their faults clearly. We have our biases, pain, and hurt that tint the way we look at things.
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More Bible Verses About Judging Others
Here are a few more things the Bible says about judging others (all verses are taken from the ESV Bible).
Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God? (ESV)Romans 2:1-3 ESV
Ouch! I don’t know about you, but this verse is a reminder that I should be careful how I judge others. I also see the truth of it. Oftentimes, the things we judge others most harshly for are ones we’re guilty of as well.
Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?James 4:11-12 ESV
Again, this is a reminder that we’re not in the place to judge others. Unlike God, who knows everything, our knowledge is limited. If we even attempt to judge others with our rudimentary information, we’ll make mistakes.
2 Corinthians 5:10
For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.2 Corinthians 5:10 ESV
My friend, one day, Christ—the perfect Son of God will judge each of us. Will we be able to stand before Him if we spend our lives casting snap judgments about our neighbors?
Let us not forget that sometimes we have also experienced the pain of being judged. Since we dislike being the subject of someone’s critical assessment, let us refrain from making snap judgments about other people.
I hope you’ll check out Brianna’s story in His Perfect Match so you can experience (through fiction) the negative impact of judging others. I pray you never experience it in real life and that if you have, God will heal the wounds left behind.
About His Perfect Match
They were two people who should not fall in love. But God had other plans.
Communications consultant Brianna McPherson would have a much better chance of rallying her fledgling business if her family would stop sending her customers who believed in the barter system. She needs paying clients or will have to close her firm.
Daniel Hutchinson’s church is in trouble. He has less than three months to get an influx of members or close their doors for good. When a friend suggests the free help of a brand manager, he jumps at the chance. He never expected to fall for the feisty consultant.
The last thing she needs is another non-paying client. Especially not the handsome pastor who’s messing with her head and making her feel all kinds of ways. If they can’t make this partnership work, they’ll both be out of a job.
But what if there’s something greater at stake? Like an unforgettable love.
His Perfect Match is the first book of a Christian romance series set in Orange Valley that will remind you that God is interested in every aspect of your life, including whom you fall in love with.
About Aminata Coote
Aminata’s passionate love affair with books began with an upside-down copy of Silas Marner. She’s dedicated her life to helping women understand the truth of the Bible for themselves.
She writes stories that point to a God bigger than our failings and provide hope to others. Aminata Coote is also the author of several Bible studies and devotionals, including Through God’s Eyes: Marriage Lessons for Women and Draw Closer: 52 Week Devotional Journal for Women.
Aminata lives in Montego Bay, Jamaica with her husband and son.
Connect with her on her websites at hebrews12endurance or aminatacoote.com, or on Instagram or Facebook.