Author Toni Shiloh is joining us today to talk about how to be a princess, and share her brand new modern-day princess story!

Many young girls play dress-up and pretend to be a princess, but what if a young, American woman actually found out she was a royal princess?

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Would It Be a Dream Come True to Be a Princess?

Brielle Bayo is an 8^th-grade civics teacher who lives in New York. Her life is no different than the next person until her mother informs her she’s a princess and the heir to the throne in Oloro Ilé. You’ll have to find out in the book, In Search of a Prince, to find out how she handles the news and if she believes it’s a dream come true. But what about you? Would you want to find out you’re the next in line to succeed and become a queen when the current monarch passes?

What Do Princesses Do?

Most people may have an idealized idea of what a princess does. They may think it’s no more than attending charity functions and smiling for the camera. For Brielle, it’s more than that. It’s about identifying with her people, finding out what she can do to benefit the entire country and its people, and being an example that honors her ancestors and countrymen.

7 Characteristics of a Princess

If you want to know how to be a princess, here are 7 characteristics of a princess that you can put into practice in your own life today.

Every princess should be known as:

• Someone who treats others with respect
• A person willing to listen to others
• A person who will put others’ lives before their own
• Kind
• Humble
• Gentle
• Authoritative 

Here are 6 important characteristics of a queen, inspired by Esther. You’ll find some overlap, but some distinct qualities as well.

Respect

One of the most important qualities of a Princess is to treat others with respect. Don’t judge people based on appearance or preconceived ideas. Give them a chance to prove themselves. If they’ve proved themselves to be harmful, refer to #7 and firmly remove them from access, but don’t be nasty and vindictive about it.

Listen

A true princess will be known as someone willing to listen to others. Whether it’s advice they’re offering, or they are looking for a place to vent, being willing to listen is an offer of dignity to the other person. You don’t have to take their advice or agree with their emotions to be a good listener.

Prioritize Others

Now, let me first say that this does not mean neglecting yourself. Prioritizing others’ well-being is kind of like mom-life. Sometimes you prioritize the kids ‘felt needs’ by cooking, cleaning and playing with them. Sometimes you prioritize their real needs by making them brush their teeth or wear protective gear when participating in sports. Other times, you prioritize their overall well-being by making sure you get a break and enough rest so you can continue to care for them. Or removing them from a harmful situation (at school, a friendship, social media, an abusive family member…).

Kind

You can be kind but firm. It’s possible. You don’t have to be a kind doormat. It takes practice but definitely shows that you’re beautiful inside. It’s a fruit of the Spirit after all!

Humble

Again, I’d like to point your attention to Esther and Mordecai, because that’s an excellent demonstration of humility. They prioritized others at risk to themselves and continually followed God’s leading.

Gentle

It’s no secret that behaving like a princess means being gentle, not harsh and sarcastic. It matters how we treat people, even when we are busy and frustrated, or disagree with their choices. Remember the saying “People don’t care what you know until they know that you care”? It’s a good one to live by.

Authoritative

Another important princess quality we tend to wrongly dismiss as un-Christian, is the ability to be authoritative. This is not like being a dictator. It’s being firm and sure of yourself and your information. Confident in the course of action needed, yes, but not ugly about it.

Blended with the above qualities, this takes the truly princess-like quality of being a problem-solver and shares it with others well and graciously.

How To Be a Princess

Learning how to be a princess is more than picking the right dress to wear, ensuring not a single hair is out of place, and having perfect etiquette. It’s being a light in a dark place, especially when that light within comes from Jesus. Brielle Adebayo has to learn exactly what it means to be a princess for her and what her country expects.

How to Become a Princess

One of the greatest gifts in the world is the ability to become a child of God. For us women, that means we can be a princess, a daughter of the King. Our crown won’t come in this lifetime, but eternity waits to give us the crown of life. Accepting that Jesus is our Lord and Savior and that we need to repent and accept His Grace, grants us life as a child of God.

Life as a Princess

Living a life as a princess—a child of God—means we put on the fruits of the Spirit.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law,”

– Galatians 5:22-23 NKJV

Princesses treat everyone with love. Express joy in day-to-day activities. Bring peace amid trials. We are patient (longsuffering) when others may not be so. We offer kindness, goodness, and faithfulness. We offer gentleness in times when life may seem too harsh. Overall, we exhibit self-control when our own emotions prove too much.

But we do not do these things in our own power. It is by the power of the Holy Spirit that we can exhibit these fruits. The more we spend time with our Lord, the more these become evident to those watching.

To live like a princess would in our everyday lives takes a stronger person than you might think. Our position, our royal title, comes with both privileges and responsibilities.

A Modern Day Princess Story

For a modern-day princess story, I hope you will pick up In Search of a Prince and go on the journey with Brielle.

It seems like a dream come true . . . until it forces her to question everything.

Brielle Adebayo is fully content teaching at a New York City public school and taking annual summer vacations with her mother to Martha’s Vineyard. But everything changes when her mom drops a bombshell–Brielle is really a princess in the island kingdom of Ọlọrọ Ilé, off the coast of Africa, and she must immediately assume her royal position, since the health of her grandfather, the king, is failing.

Distraught by all the secrets her mother kept, Brielle is further left spinning when the Ọlọrọ Ilé Royal Council brings up an old edict that states she must marry before her coronation, or the crown will pass to another. Brielle is uncertain if she even wants the throne, and with her world totally shaken, where will she find the courage to take a chance on love and brave the perils a wrong decision may bring?

*Find Aryn’s review of In Search of a Prince here.

Meet Toni Shiloh

Toni Shiloh is a wife, mom, and multi-published Christian contemporary romance author. She writes to bring God glory and to learn more about His goodness. Her novels, Grace Restored, was a 2019 Holt Medallion finalist, Risking Love a 2020 Selah Award finalist, The Truth About Fame a 2021 Holt Medallion finalist, and The Price of Dreams a 2021 Maggie Award finalist.

A member of the American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW) and of the Virginia Chapter, Toni seeks to encourage authors in the writing industry. She loves connecting with readers and authors alike via social media. You can learn more about her writing at tonishiloh.com.